Open Road Meditation & Mindfulness Dialogue

 

 

Songs are thoughts, sung out with the breath when people are moved by great forces and ordinary speech no longer suffices. Man is moved just like the ice floe sailing here and there in the current. His thoughts are driven by a flowing force when he feels joy, when he feels fear, when he feels sorrow. Thoughts can wash over him like a flood, making his breath come in gasps and his heart throb. Something like an abatement in the weather will keep him thawed up. And then it will happen that we, who always think we are small, will feel still smaller. And we will fear to use words. But it will happen that the words we need will come of themselves. When the words we want to use shoot up of themselves–we get a new song.

 

—Orpingalik, Netsilik Inuit

 

 April 15, 2020

 

Welcome to our eighth meditation and mindfulness dialogue! The numbers below refer to passages from the book Your True Home by Thich Nhat Hanh. The tag on my Yogi tea bag says: “Let your heart speak to other hearts.”

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A MEMORY OF WHAT

after Tracy K. Smith

 

Angels with days for eyes

lay their hands on the dead.

 

Who is so fixed & desolate

that they cannot see the walls of honey

 

closing in on a fugitive grief? They wince so

beautifully against the sun, calamity:

 

children, aspects of children, falling

in love with a flower. They are lost

 

in a memory of what the field was.

In a memory of when the field was

 

in love with a flower, we are lost

children, aspects of children, falling

 

beautifully against the sun, calamity

closing in on a future grief. We wince so

 

we cannot see the walls of honey.

What is fixed & desolate

 

lays its hand on the dead

angels with days for eyes.

*

 

AMONG THE CATTAILS

 

If all that’s left are ashes

in a lazy, bending wind

among the cattails—

if a moth is blown off course

and lost in lust

for wander, a crazing of grasses—

if the cottonwoods are twinned

by the sky’s calm sister,

sunrisen water—if

you find one day that you miss me,

miss everyone, and your days

are an inconsolable star

without a night to fall from—

we will wake as seedlings

among the cattails.

 

—Alex Tretbar

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I have been unusually busy and am only now catching up on my readings. I apologize to this group for my comments printed in the January 15th newsletter. These were intended as a personal communication with Johnny, and not at all intended for the newsletter. The miscommunication is entirely my fault, I did not adequately delineate my comments as a side conversation. The context was Johnny and I discussing tradition and lineage, and my own confusions about these topics. My comments were not in any way a criticism of this group or its participants.

 

—Shad Alexander

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My Foolproof Plan for World Peace

 

I hereby declare today to be International Love Day.

And a General Armistice.

All hostilities must cease on International Love Day.

Henceforward, every day is International Love Day.

 

—Johnny Stallings

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[Three entries from Michel’s (almost) daily March meditation journal.]

 

March 7, 2021  #92  Don’t Take Side

 

Reconciliation is a beautiful idea. Yet, even in here, every one of us wants to be on “a side”—the winning sports team (or unit ball team), the “right” side of the power players (however one sees power displayed in prison: violence/aggression, staff informant, etc.), having the “right” charges and/or associates leading to the right job. Because whatever or whomever is of the “wrong” is to be despised, belittled, attacked, exploited, destroyed, not tolerated to co-exist. So much suffering, trauma, and drama exists over this dualistic battle. I don’t recall (free) society being any different—possibly more subtle in some areas. We always have those who have/want power, those who want to be close to power, since they can’t have their own, and those who run from power (maybe over-simplified, and/or “wrongly” thought out.)

 

As I read on, Thây reminds me that: “What we (I) need are people who are capable of loving and not taking sides so that they can embrace the whole of reality….” “look at all beings with the eyes of compassion, and we (I) can do the real work of helping to alleviate suffering.” I see that, not only do I need/want to have people in my life “capable of loving and not taking sides,” I also need/want to be that person in the world. When I (we) “look at all beings with the eyes of compassion…” it alleviates suffering—mine and theirs.

 

While I desire reconciliation with former friends and victims of my selfish choices, I wonder how much simpler reconciliation I can do among my current friends and associates and/or family, with whom I have contact. Or, how much I need with my own self—letting me “off the hook” (providing forgivness) for mistakes, big and small, no longer taking a “side,” and cultivating loving compassion to ease suffering in my world.

 

I imagine this reconciliation isn’t easy, but it can’t be “hard” either. Thây wants me (us) to continue practicing mindfulness and reconciliation till I (we) see the suffering of others as my (our) own. 

 

This is where it gets deep and demands much, to give up self as separate from other, and to see that we’re all made from the same mud. We all share the same source. Even though we insist on seeing separateness—me vs. you, us vs. them—reconciliation helps us see the common ground we share, upon which we can begin anew to build a future together, not excluding anyone, to strive toward relieving (alleviating)  suffering.

 

I believe I can do this work of developing mindfulness—breathing, being aware, holding compassion (instead of contempt), sharing love as acceptance, patience and understanding.

*

 

March 9, 2021  #93  The Spiritual Dimension

 

Oh, if only all people pursued peace! What an amazing world this would be. But, Wait! I can encourage friends, family, and anyone who is open to do so. I can bring the peace I have (find, learn) into the world I already live in, to begin a healing work in others I contact. Remind me again: Why is it I need to wait for the (war) world leaders to pull out and learn the ways of peace for their lives? Short answer: I don’t. I can communicate my desires for them to learn and pursue peace. But, I can only find and cultivate my own. And, I can support anyone else’s journey by expressing/living a life of peace.

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March 24, 2021  #102  Like the Moon in the Sky

 

“Abandoning ideas” could be scary; especially if they are ideas of identity—“me,” this self. It’s not that I cease to exist, per se, or that I wholly abandon my role in this play going on here. I LET GO of my attachment to the “role” and the “character’s” story. Shakespeare put it well when he called us all merely actors.

 

To me, an actor picks up a role: and a part in the story is begun. He or she develops a backstory, beyond what’s provided, to drive the character through conflicts to resolution. When the curtain falls for the last time, the actor sets down the role and picks up with the role of the self. (But it’s not really different.)

 

I think this freedom Thây is speaking of today is like that actor. When I set down my attachment to all the stories spun for this role of Michel: then, I become free to exist and move as I was created, to be the person I came here to be—instead of this assumed role I was once convinced was the “real” me. (PS: I think glimpses of the “real” do shine through, as with all actors bringing a piece of the self to a role.)

 

The more I identify and attach to this story/role, the more I face the challenge to discover a “real” self within this role. Thây is right, happiness can’t come from this conflict (inner turmoil). It comes easily when I set down attachment to this role of “me.” The story of Michel persists, until it ends: My participation is how I pursue suffering, or ease into happiness…my breathing exercises.

 

—Michel Deforge

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Quiet Day

 

Dawn day. Gone gray.

No car. No key. No place to be.

No task. No mask. No fancy shoes.

No news. Nothing to lose.

No greeting. No meeting.

A quiet nook. A long look.

No call. No knock. Forgotten clock.

Singing birds. Few words. Taking stock.

Dusk slow. Moon glow. Let go.

*

 

All My Relations

 

I want to thank all my relations

for this chance to be on Earth

in her time of flourishing; to thank 

the First People of this place, the 

Multnomah people, the Clackamas,

Molalla, Tualatin, & Chinook, to honor 

their sovereignty in long and continuing 

relation, still teaching us how we might

be here together; to thank my mother and father, 

moon and sun, for setting me forth before 

their own passing on; to thank my grandmother

who listened to me so eloquently I learned

to listen to my own heart and mind, to find

stories and songs there; to thank my family 

and friends, and all citizens and travelers 

who study and work for deeper kinship 

in this place, with one another, and with 

all creatures, one Earth, visible, palpable, 

fragile, intricate, resonant, in need of our

better stories. I want to thank you 

who have gathered to receive what I have 

carried here — in hope that something

I have may meet something you need,

so all our relations may be strengthened

for the life we live together.

 

—Kim Stafford, from Singer Come from Afar, Red Hen Press, 2021

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#50  The Basic Principle

 

“Have we wasted our hours and our days?Are we wasting our lives? These are important questions.”

 

Waste: This is what caught my attention. All my life (well, at least for the last 30 years or so) my guiding desire, my guiding principle has been to Not Waste Life. Live this life! Be Alive!  Do Not Waste  Life. If you are afraid of something, move into it; don’t run from it. Expand, don’t contract. 

 

To that end, I have had a (very) full life. Full of good times and also very difficult times. I am aware of and grateful for both. Many will say that I have Too Many Things going on. Do you ever stop going? they ask. To be clear, these activities are not things I think I should be doing. They are all passions, things I love, or feel strongly about —some despite, or because of their difficulty or complexity.

 

My husband has set some rules: For every new thing you take on, something else has to go. You want to sing in the Voci Choir? Fine, then you might stop leading those hikes for young girls. Learn how to graft fruit trees? Cool, but stop digging and potting up your two hundred plants for the plant sale. Take classes in Middle eastern cooking? Cook meals for that new Hispanic family? Only if you stop cooking for that other family. 

 

So I’m busy, maybe ‘over scheduled.’ That is until recently when I had to stop everything for two months to recover from foot surgery. And not like the Pandemic Stop, when I could still ride my bike and hike and carry on almost as always. This stoppage has a requirement of REST, of HEALING, of SLEEP, of RECOVERY. In other words, being quite…motionless.

 

This has undermined my brain pattern of ‘activity’ as being ‘not wasting life.’ If I can’t ‘do’ anything, I must be wasting life. But then I came around to this: I am ‘doing’ something active by recovering, by healing. That is ‘productive!’ Whew! I am not wasting life. 

 

But then I read the rest of The Basic Principle. “Practicing Buddhism is to be alive in each moment. When we practice sitting or walking, we have the means to do it perfectly. During the rest of the day, we also practice. It is more difficult, but it is possible. The sitting and the walking must be extended to the non-walking, non-sitting moments of our day. That is the basic principle of meditation.”  Not wasting life is not about being active, or being active in being inactive. It’s not about being ‘productive,’ although I’ve never been proud of the word nor used it as a complimentary personal characteristic. Moment by moment being active and aware, being still and aware. Being in the moment, every moment. Not wasting life is about being alive in each moment. It is not about always doing something.

 

—Jude Russell

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Morning Walk

 

In the park

Immersed in birdsong

Drowned in trees

I breathe it in

Until I smile

 

—Kristen Sagan

*

 

Meditation and Mindfulness are simply the Art of paying attention. This is the most wonderful time of year, when we can first take a walk outside after a cold winter and enjoy seeing the new life that comes, without any need but the energy of life. The pink azaleas have bloomed, and the magnificent magnolias. The ground is polka dotted after a wind with plum blossoms. This week on my son’s farm, three sheep have given birth to one lamb each. Each one a surprise because their winter wool hides the mamas’ full bellies. Surprise and awe are two of the gifts of a happy life. 

 

This sense of transformation is also ours just by noticing and being present to how we feel when happiness or kindness shows up. 

 

My wish for us all this beautiful month of spring is to enjoy and notice the rebirth in the world; this can resonate within ourselves.  If you don’t have a wonderful outside view, may you find some quiet time for breathing meditation.  I like to take that time every day at 3 p.m. and know that others are creating lovingkindness energy along with me.  In Vietnam at the same time, Thich Nhat Hanh and Sister Chan Kong and the monks and nuns will be meditating together in the morning after ringing the temple bell.  

 

Here is a note from Thich Nhat Hanh on what we can do paying attention to our breath:

 

“Our breathing is a stable solid ground that is always there for us to take refuge in. Whenever we are carried away by regret about something that has happened, or swept away in our fears or anxiety in the future, we can return to our breathing, and re-establish ourselves in the present moment. 

 

We don’t need to control the breath in any way. We simply encounter it, just as it is. It may be long or short, deep or shallow. With the gentle energy of mindfulness it will naturally become slower and deeper.”

 

Peace and Love,  

 

If i could I would send you all peach blossoms,    

 

—Katie Radditz