Julia, Rocky & Jeffrey at Portland Japanese Garden

THE OPEN ROAD

peace, love, happiness & understanding

May 9, 2026

THE ROCKY ROAD

First some thoughts from Jude about this new chapter in Rocky’s life. Then, some of Rocky’s impressions of what these last few weeks have been like:

Through the Eyes of Rocky

I have been thinking daily of our dear Rocky Hutchinson. I have been seeing The World through the Eyes of Rocky, and want to appreciate the world as if seeing it for the first time in seventeen years. What would it be like to stand under a flowering pink cherry tree, a pink dogwood tree, a maple tree shaking its leaves open from its small packets? To walk in a forest of dark green firs, to see the sunlight slicing through the quiet, towering trunks. To see the moon, not just a glimpse but waxing and waning from night to  night. To sit quietly, happily at a meal—a good meal—-with beloved friends who have become like family.  To walk and walk and walk, with no one to stop you, no one to make you stop. To visit with dogs, and cats, and chipmunks, and squirrels and robins and worms and ants. 

To savor it all. To love life, the new life Rocky has. A life of peace, love, happiness, and understanding.

—Jude Russell

*

It was an early Spring morning in April. The end of Winter could be felt hanging on the face of Spring. That first day was like a wave of love that came from a warm Spring unending. I was surrounded by all the people that had come into my life to form a beautiful family. As the days went by, each and every one, all the stress and fear of the unknown quickly faded. In its place the tapestry of my life began to unfold, each and every fold came with acceptance, understanding and ease. All of my misconceptions soon faded.                                                                                                                          

At the same time, the beauty of the world, of nature, of people—the touch of it all so real, so potent, so big, was there. The world and all that it has to offer, all the things I meditated on in my prison cell, were there to never take for granted again. The movement of the city, the smells of food, the passing look of a woman, the ability to give and accept hugs from anyone—with no one there to dehumanize, to ridicule—just the love is there.  

The ocean of seasons that we live in our lives changes with the tides, the vast amount of time that I swam to get to this hour is for me the sweetest Spring of my life. So much so that I can give it as a gift to others around me. Such a powerful emotion to feel when others around me can see it, feel it. I can feel it like electricity pulsing within me, the power of love and positivity.                                                                                                                            

I am grateful to have the room I now call home. It is so close to where I was removed from the world 17.5 years ago. Fate saw fit to place me back where I came from. I am able to see a reflection of my life—a reflection most will never see. The homeless and the addicts are still there. I used to be one of them, and it breaks my heart to see them. It puts a drive in me to never take things in my life for granted, to love the life I have to the fullest. For those who have lived a life full of trips down the wrong roads, there comes a time to choose. If you give in, and dive into the endless void of addiction and abuse, it is a weak and powerless act. Then, there is the other choice—a stance, a life decision that nothing can break through. I have had enough of the past, of the never-ending life of addiction. Getting to have that reflection in my face every day is a blessing. It hurts, too, to see them—not knowing that a change is there for them, and it is as simple as one choice. I have made that definite choice!                               

I have been out of prison less than a month and am still experiencing the wonders of it all. As I re-acclimatize to all that is life, I notice that all of the good qualities that I instilled within my heart, mind, and soul are strange and growing day by day. It matters the things we do within the walls. Those who tell you otherwise, (and they do and will), are wrong—very very wrong. I imagined the world full of new wonder and amazements and that is just what it is to me. Every walk I take is an adventure, every conversation with friends is deep and meaningful, every song I hear is more pleasant. The elegance of it all is right there in everything. That’s how I choose to live and be in the world. I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon, nor do I want that to change.                                

This moment in my life, this transition is important to me and I am sure it will be important to others too. Everything is a perspective for all of us. Coming from such confinement, it is easy for me to cut through and avoid snags that can appear in my daily life. For me, it’s all about my point of view on acceptance—there’s no reason to go against the grain. There is only enough time to do so much in a day in life. The ability to make my own choices to do what I know is right is a root of joy, not only for me but for everyone. That is a right of being human, being alive, being a speck of dust in the universe. According to Einstein, particles can change there alignments—and I am living proof. It is all possible. None of us are stuck, but I have had a tremendous amount of help in my life. The help is there for everyone. If anyone is truly trying to change, that will happen. The help will show up. That’s how it works—hands helping hands, love and life, friends and support. 

April 29, 2026

Went to the Japanese garden today with some new friends that I met, Jeffrey & Julia. Johnny had brought us together long ago over the phone and through letters from over the years, so I am sure they know my heart. All I can hope for is that all can now see that in me as we become closer in person. As we traversed the paths of peacefulness and the unbelievable beauty the universe gifts to us all, I could feel the wonder of kindness and love that was reciprocating between us and all other living things in our spheres of life. The beauty of people and of myself is now a gift that can be shared between each of us. Being out only 14 days from the walls of confinement and having the chance to partake of such beauty is…something I want to take in and tread upon lightly. I want to leave the lightest of footprints upon it as a delicate gift that I know the meaning of. In my life I have not had the chance to have people whose purpose was to give and share the beauty of life. It feels so strange to just get to be, and to not be guarded. There is nothing I have to protect myself from.

As we took in the beauty offered to us I could not help but slip away in my mind—so much of me wanted to become a permanent part of it all. Knowing that my time here is fleeting is the key to truly seeing it, the beauty. The winding vines of the Japanese maples, the crawling moss, the babbling water whispering secrets that only are understood by my soul. I know that what beauty I understand in my waking mind is just a drop in the pool of endless wonder.

It is an unspoken language between all of us—“indescribable wonder” I think is the best description any of us can utter. We just know it for what it is—BEAUTY & WONDER—to share it with all who can understand it for its truth is a gift all in itself. It’s a simple understanding: we are all parts of it and of each other—all are one. 

April 30, 2026

(Day 15)

How amazing it feels to wake up in this new world, one filled with new friends, trees, rivers, options. Part of me feels very lost and bewildered, things are so new. I know this world and I remember what role I had in it before. That is not who I am now. I am new. Things move different—not fast, but in waves. Blessed is the path I am on, a hard-won gift born out of many battles that were fought on every front a person has.

As I walk out of my room every day I remember where I am and what I am thankful for, the joy I have to tread so lightly and take for granted as little as possible. To simply smile to anyone, to a friend, and receive one back is amazing. To talk to others that I have never met or seen is quite a gift too.  

Day 15. April 30, 2026 (continued)

We had group today and the wealth of knowledge and love in the group is truly a shining gift. If only that group of people were guiding the course of mankind…

I find myself becoming endeared to each of them as time goes on, and I want to sit with each of them and talk of the human condition and of ages past—to see through their eyes. To me it is like placing bricks on the golden paths we all walk. That is what has been missing in my life for many many years. I find myself not drinking from the fountain, but drowning in it.    

I am wondering if there are other groups like that that I can go to as well. It seems to me that I am loving the ability to just talk to people. That is very different to what I used to be like. Before I went into prison, I detested people. That was due to so many social walls and bridges of ruin. All of that seems to have been worked out. As I see the world now, many people are simply beautiful and I can see that in them—a kindness, a glow, a sort of purity that is of the unseen, registering with the mind’s eye and the heart. 

I took a walk down to the waterfront tonight and wanted to give an offering. A sort of personal sacrifice of the last of the old me. There are things we all as humans have as traits within us. I have set most of them to rest, but, like everyone, I still battle. What a gift is death when it comes!—a hard reset of oneself to start anew, fresh and clean. If only we could keep some of ourselves! In a way, we do. But all that will come in life’s natural cycle.

It is only 16 days since my release and I am seeing happy couples in their union, and am longing for that in my life. I have been alone long enough. In time I am certain that will change. My soul is just hungry to love and find companionship. Human hands were meant to hold each other, that is why they fit together like they do. It is a sacred bond to have another being to care for and to love. The ground has the sky. The ocean has the shore. The tree has the soil. All things have their duality. 

My first room, the Medford Hotel

It is a humble place, one not to forget. Here I take my first steps into a world, and it is now the future. Difficult to explain. At times I find myself feeling like the time traveler from H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine. As I stepped out of the machine I was in I see the changes the world has undergone. Just as he did, I, as he, ask questions and people look at me a little strangely. I know that they know something is a little off with me. It is okay because I am kind and friendly, personable. As I sit here in my room I am thankful. Thankful to have just what I need to live and to be me. This is a kindness, a gift of love. 

In the corner stands a large wardrobe out of times past, like me. The room is old and that is fine, it is cozy. Small, humble, like me too. I am lucky to have it. Out on the street is the drunk, the junky, the hooker, the hard, sad, lost and broken, the me before I was awoken. A man duct-taping his life together. He needs to run a thousand miles an hour on the streets. He has not yet awoke from his addictions, neither has she. Her beauty screaming out as it is sacrificed by its owner. It hangs from her face. I see what she could be…if only. I know their drive, their hopeless, endless ride in nothing in the end.

In my room I have a bed, a blanket, a pillow, rest. I have so much now. Just beyond the 10 inches of wall…always a wall of separation in my life. Sitting in this room, knowing I never want to forget—here, where I left. Now I am starting, I am going…but never forgetting. I came from here, I was all of them. And now I am me. I made it back and will never go back to the walls that kept me in for so long. And in this room, my first room, I must keep walking the path away from and into the next room that has not yet come. This room will never be forgotten. Nothing will ever be forgotten.

May 8, 2026

Sitting at the Lotus Bean, which has become me favorite morning coffee shop, knowing that it’s a whole new day full of many positive forward possibilities. Josh and I have a show to go to tonight—Puscifer! That is a good show for my first big show since I have been out. I love the Golden Path that I am on. There are a few things that I need to fix about myself, and reel myself back in from the temptations the world is placing in my path.

The day is a beautiful one—gray with the promise of Spring sun. 7:30 a.m. is a wonderful time in the morning to be out in the city. The sidewalks are somewhat clean and the streets seem to be content from the night before—peaceful, and a vibe that feels calm. It will be a good Friday night—my first one where I have plans to do something amazing. Sitting here listening to some Led Zeppelin, knowing that things so far have turned out alright. These little things point the way of my life. It’s a strange thing to have changed so much and to be back where I used—but as a different person. I am thankful for my crazy life.

—Rocky Hutchinson