Sal Dale as Hermia, Steve Jamison as Lysander, Allen Mills (hidden) as Puck, Bradley Foote as Oberon, Zeb Harrington as Demetrius and Aaron Gilbert as Helena in the 2010 production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Two Rivers prison in Umatilla, Oregon.

THE OPEN ROAD

peace, love, happiness & understanding

August 20, 2020

Kim Stafford and I were talking about those moments when life feels perfect. He had written a poem that morning, which he read to me and then sent in an email:

          Practical Illusions 

When I lose track of time, I feel free

for a little while. And when I feel free, 

I can tackle the impossible. I can break

a miracle down to a series of steps,

so magic begins to enter, beauty intrudes,

then I’m in thrall to curiosity and wonder, 

friendship with the future returns, and all

my regrets fill a basket of quirky souvenirs. 

I’ve lived in exile from joy, daunted by

mortality, taking what they call a realistic view

by counting up my hours and days of failure.

There’s no shortage there, and I’m expert

on musing, dwelling, brooding on my losses.

But then the turning comes as I lean close in

to creation, something out of nothing. It begins 

with surrender to anything I love to do.

—Kim Stafford

*

Last year, about this time, I wrote this poem:

Kim Stafford, Ace Reporter

he carries a tiny notebook around with him

ever on the alert

looking, listening

words are spoken, inspiration strikes, events unfold

he takes out his little notebook, jots things down

he’s collecting all the latest news

later, he will file his next report—

What’s Going On Here On Planet Earth

–Johnny Stallings

*

Katie responded to Aaron Gilbert’s letter in last week’s issue of “peace, love, happiness & understanding”:

This is fantastic, Johnny. It’s amazing for me to read what Aaron wrote about his blossoming. So articulate and open and still on his quest to love and forgive. It takes me back to my own blossoming that came from seeing A Midsummer Night’s Dream in prison. Like in Shakespeare’s time the men had to play all the roles, of course. Incredible to see them though. In a fantastic costume from the Portland Opera, here came Aaron playing Helena in all her loveliness. I happened to be sitting next to his mom, who had traveled hundreds of miles to see the play and was proud and astonished and happy to be there. Along with the rest of us, she got to see Aaron transformed through this role he had mastered. It made me realize the power of literary art and embodying a character in a play. We were all uplifted and transported into some other possible realm. The prison walls even became precious for providing such a container and program for learning and listening and trusting one another enough to produce such a work of art together. The best part was the post-play reflection, hearing the men talk about their experience through the whole process—the accomplishment of reading, memorizing, acting, actually getting to touch another person, coordinating the action. But most of all loving each other and being loved by each other and by their director and costumer. It was heartbreaking to see the men leave by one door back to their cells. We walked out the gates, moved by tears and laughter, transformed, as they were, and dedicated to returning again and again, till they too walk out as free men. I’m grateful to you, Johnny, for imagining and following your heart to create such an experience for us all. 

—Katie Radditz

*

On my birthday, or around New Year’s Day, I often read through my journal for the previous year to remind myself of things that happened. This morning I was doing that and found something that ties into what Aaron wrote for last week’s issue and to Katie’s response. I had copied a letter to Howard Thoresen into my journal. Here’s what I wrote to him:

september 8, 2019

¡howardito!

nancy is with her mom this weekend, so i went out to two rivers by myself yesterday

i brought up the subject of julius caesar and the men talked about how awesome it was and how good it is to have a way to form strong bonds of friendship

then i told them that october 5th will be my last day facilitating the dialogue group

carl alsup (brutus) told me what a big impact i have had on the lives of many men there

then stuart morton (cassius) got the bright idea that we should go around the circle and everyone should say something to me

(this is a thing we’ve done a few times

i got the idea from jack kornfield

the chosen person listens while everyone says what they most admire, etc., about him

i think it can be a kind of medicine for people who are suffering from feelings of worthlessness, et cetera)

anyhow, they really gave me the full treatment

when you were here you said that you can’t take a compliment

i don’t know, but i think 40 minutes of something like this would overcome your resistance and do something to you

just thinking about the experience is making me cry

it seems that my ability to see their innate goodness and beauty has helped many of the men to see it in themselves and in others

to feel loved and to love

for many of the men, and for me, this represents a profound change in the way we experience our human life on earth

it’s a gift we have given to each other

well, that’s about it for now

jake merriman is coming over shortly

the men report that during the final performance he cried through the whole play

which gladdens my heart

peace, love & happiness

juanito

*

Walt Whitman said:

This minute that comes to me over the past decillions,

There is no better than it and now.

*

I have a hunch that when Kim began writing the poem “Practical Illusions” he didn’t know how it would end. He begins with the freedom he feels when he loses track of time, then, like a beachcomber, he picks things up and examines them, and ends by speaking of surrendering to anything he loves to do. One of the things he loves to do is write poems. He gets pleasure from taking us on this journey and we get pleasure from accompanying him. Walt Whitman asks: 

Who wishes to walk with me?

The end of the poem calls to my mind the idea of following your heart’s desire. When an opportunity arises to give free advice to young people, that’s what I say: “Follow your heart’s desire.” When I was young, my dad said to me with great seriousness, as if imparting important wisdom: “John, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.” I didn’t say anything to him at the time, but I remember thinking: “Not me! That’s not how I’m gonna live my life.” I never came up with a plan of what I want to do with my life. Like a hummingbird, I just go from one flower to the next. Today is my 69th birthday. I’m eating a red pear from our red pear tree. I’m the happiest man on earth.

Thomas Traherne (1636-1674) said this about a defect in his university education:

“There was never a tutor that did professly teach Felicity, though that be the mistress of all other sciences.”

(Thomas Traherne, from Centuries of Meditations, Third Century, number 37)

*

May all people be happy.

May we live in peace & love.

—Johnny