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SUMMARY:Meditation & Mindfulness Dialogue  12/15/22
DESCRIPTION:photo by Howard Thoresen \n  \nOpen Road Meditation & Mindfulness Dialogue \n  \nDecember 15\, 2022 \n  \noften when walking in the streets of lower Manhattan or on the promenade along the Hudson River  \na young father crosses my path chatting gaily with his son or carrying his daughter on his shoulders \npointing to the statue \nor a young woman and a young man stroll beside me \ntheir bodies entwined their eyes shining the involuntary smiles \nand i sigh in the knowledge that i will never be a young father or a young lover \nor i read about some young actor who at 23 has a resume as long as i had at 60 and a better \nthe scientist\, the painter\, the family man\, the social worker\, the deep sea diver\, the marathon runner \nwhen there arises in me a longing to have another life \nto have been a different person \nto live for a thousand years \ni remember the stories of the yogis i read as a young boy—the siddhi of having more than one body and thus of working out innumerable skeins of karma which to them was a terrible task but to me sounds delightful \nthere arises another something that feels like a conviction “i am already doing this. all these bodies are mine\, not just the human but the dogs and cats and cockroaches\, the breakdancer and the ballerina\, the blah blah blah \nthese are my bodies my pasts and my futures\, i am life flowing through a million lives” \nthe guru said he had the power to enter the highest state at will and i think so do i \ni have only to shift my eyes in one direction or another and i am all beings and all being \nbut it isn’t a trance\, i don’t fall down or have to be taken care of by awed disciples \ni can continue to meander and people don’t know that i am them or maybe they do \n  \n—Howard Thoresen \n* \n  \nDec. 17\, 1834 \nThere is in every man a determination of character to a peculiar end\, counteracted often by unfavorable fortune\, but more apparent the more he is at liberty. This is called his genius\, or his nature\, or his turn of mind. The object of Education should be to remove all obstructions & let this natural force have free play & exhibit its peculiar product. It seems to be true that no man in this is deluded. This determination of his character is to something in nature; something real. This object is called his Idea. It is that which rules his most advised actions\, those especially that are most his\, & is most distinctly discerned by him in those days or moments when he derives the sincerest satisfaction from his life. \n  \n—Ralph Waldo Emerson\, from Emerson in His Journals\, selected and edited by Joel Porte\, p. 132 \n* \n  \n#264  Compassionate Listening  \n  \n“Compassionate listening is crucial. We listen with the willingness to relieve the suffering of the other person\, not to judge or argue with her. We listen with all our attention. Even if we hear something that is not true\, we continue to listen deeply so the other person can express her pain and release the tensions within herself. If we reply to her or correct her\, the practice will not bear fruit. If we need to tell the other person that her perception was not correct\, we can do that a few days later privately and calmly.” \n(from Your True Home by Thich Nhat Hanh) \n  \nRecently in a discussion group\, we have been experiencing a certain degree of ‘dialogue imbalance\,’ I’ll call it. One or two well-meaning members have been imposing advice (and veiled judgment) upon others who are sharing their thoughts and feelings. This has caused those ‘counseled’ to withdraw and become reluctant to share. \n  \nWe all need to express shared vulnerability\, not impose answers\, solutions\, corrections or advice. Any and all of these evoke frustration and feelings of being misunderstood (and judged) instead of being heard.  \n  \nThis can be a challenge. People want to help\, and we are a solution-driven\, solution-finding society. We believe that the best way to help is to find/give answers\, when often the most meaningful help is simply…to listen.  \n  \n—Jude Russell \n* \n  \n                    I Know Nothing \n  \nI know nothing about music\, but when the piccolo  \ngot lost in the cave\, and shadows began to weep\,  \nI wished I did. That way\, I could follow the scales  \nbeading a dragon’s neck all the way to the tail\, \nmelody oozing slow as honey from the strings  \nweaving a shroud for the hangman’s daughter \nafter her singing silence robbed my sorry hoard. \nI wish I knew the first few notes violas scribbled \nto reveal how percussion crushed the grass bowing  \ntoward the river where the horns flowed fast. \nAnd when the soloist turned her words to silver  \nshining past my mind\, I wished I could mesh \nthat lingering flame burning the English horn  \nto sear my soul long after the concert ended. \n  \n—Kim Stafford \n* \n  \nParts of Me \n  \nPart of me is ready to begin. \nAnother part is already finished. \n  \nOther parts—unknown—keep themselves to themselves. \n  \nPart of me is party to silent movies \nplaying for no one \nat a drive-in theater in the sky. \n  \nWe are all of us part of each other. \n  \nPart of me doesn’t believe that\, though. Part of me stubs its toe \non trashcans in bowling alleys\, chair legs in cemeteries. \n  \nPart of me is gripping its part of me’s head \nlike a housewife testing a melon\, in market. \n  \nPart of me’s frightened of what I just said. \n  \nPart of me wants a lobotomy\, but cries for its mommy \ninstead. Part of me’s still an egg. \n  \nPart of me’s already dead. \n  \nPart of me is the start of me. Part of me’s also the end of me. \nPart of me part of me part of me. \n  \nThe part of me that thinks it is smart of me \nto write about all of the parts of me \nis one of the very worst parts of me—take it from [part of] me. \n  \nPart of me tires of parroting you\, pardoning me\, petering out & catching the flu. \nBut part of me also revels in blue\, resorts to leaving the zoo. \n  \nPart of me finds it hard to write \nwhen part of someone else \nis reading over part of me’s shoulder. \n  \nPart of me never knows how far apart \nthe parts of me are. \n  \nPart of me’s tired of faltering\, and in the end\, \nthe art of me consists of weaving together the far-flung parts of me. \n  \nPart of me parts the curtains and shows you all of me. \n  \n—Alex Tretbar \n* \n  \nSometimes I sit down to write a poem and sometimes I’m writing in my journal and something I’ve written seems like it could be a little poem. Here are some old and some recent examples: \n  \nWhat the Crow Said \n  \n“Caw\,” said the crow \nI didn’t say anything \nI just wrote down what the crow said \n* \n  \nMy Retirement Plan \n  \nI’m waiting for the elves to arrive \nwith bags of gold \n* \n  \na guy drives by in a blue car \ncovered with cherry blossom petals \n* \n  \ncouple of guys \nunloading mattresses \nfrom a Frito-Lay truck \nwhat the hell is going on? \n* \n  \nlast night I was playing miniature golf in my dream \n* \n  \ncold night \nsitting by the woodstove \nthe happiest man alive \n* \n  \nholy holy holy is the bean plant \ncup of coffee \nthe stuffed animals on the window sill \nthat have been loved unto baldness \nthe song sparrow \nthe sunlight \nand even the man sitting at his laptop \nfailing once again to say the unsayable \n* \n  \nChristmas Prayer \n  \nThank you\, Jesus\, \nfor giving me this day off work. \n* \n  \nthe Buddha’s best sermon \nwas when he gave that guy a flower \n* \n  \nY’know those paperweights \nwith a little house \nand little trees \nand if you turn it upside-down \nand then rightside-up again \nit snows? \nI’m sitting in that little house. \n  \n—Johnny Stallings \n* \n  \nMarcus Aurelius vs. Marie Howe \n  \nI have been in the habit these past weeks of picking up Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and finding a quote to ponder for the day. There was one quote last week that became the center of my conversations with three very different people. \n  \nLook attentively on each particular thing you do\, and ask yourself if death be a terror because it deprives you of this. \n  \nWow. I was immediately struck by how profound this statement is. To me\, this is a reminder to pay close attention and choose wisely how each day is spent. And then I started to feel a little insignificant. Marcus Aurelius\, was\, after all\, an emperor\, and wrote Meditations as a record for himself of self-improvement. Perhaps the idea of looking so closely through the lens of death robbing me of such importance is not for the everyday person. \n  \nI shared this quote with my daughter and we discussed my thoughts as I continued to chew on its meaning and she sat back for a moment and then said\, “Yeah but what about What the Living Do?” \n  \nWhat the Living Do is a poem within a book of the same name written by Marie Howe. Howe wrote the collection of poems about her brother who died of AIDS-related complications in his 20s. The poem simply and eloquently reminds us that the everyday moments – both good\, bad and indifferent – are what make up a human life.  \n  \nWhen I look back at my 48 years lived\, which includes the birth of four children\, a marriage\, a divorce and falling in love again\, these big life events are not what stand out to me. Life is driving through Delaware in July at sunset and seeing people in their Sunday best eating ice cream cones. Life is smelling the perfume my mother wore when she’d get dressed up and go out on the town – the scent taking me back to sitting on her bed as a child\, watching her put her jewelry on. Life is listening to my son tell me casually about his day on the ride home from school\, my heart filling up with his words\, unbeknownst to him. And life is feeling butterflies on a morning walk through my neighborhood in summer as I resonate on the poem from my lover as I swiftly prance down the sidewalk\, smelling every rose I can reach to stick my nose into. \n  \nThe ordinary is the extraordinary. And when I look again at what Marcus Aureilus has to say\, I think he understood this as well. It isn’t about what we do but how we perceive. It is in the looking that we can spot the miracles.  \n  \nWhat the Living Do \n  \nJohnny\, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days\, some \nutensil probably fell down there. \nAnd the Drano won’t work but smells dangerous\, and the \ncrusty dishes have piled up \nwaiting for the plumber I still haven’t called. This is the \neveryday we spoke of. \nIt’s winter again: the sky’s a deep\, headstrong blue\, and the \nsunlight pours through \nthe open living-room windows because the heat’s on too high in \nhere and I can’t turn it off. \nFor weeks now\, driving\, or dropping a bag of groceries in the \nstreet\, the bag breaking\, \nI’ve been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday\, \nhurrying along those \nwobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk\, spilling my coffee \ndown my wrist and sleeve\, \nI thought it again\, and again later\, when buying a hairbrush: \nThis is it. \nParking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you \ncalled that yearning. \nWhat you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the \nwinter to pass. We want \nwhoever to call or not call\, a letter\, a kiss—we want more and \nmore and then more of it. \nBut there are moments\, walking\, when I catch a glimpse of \nmyself in the window glass\, \nsay\, the window of the corner video store\, and I’m gripped by a \ncherishing so deep \nfor my own blowing hair\, chapped face\, and unbuttoned coat \nthat I’m speechless: \nI am living. I remember you. \n  \n—poem by Marie Howe \n  \n—Nicole Rush \n* \n  \nNovember 2\, 2022  CALL OF THE HEART \n  \nThe initial bedrock from which speech grows is the voice. \nWhen the voice is born\, before words and prior to sentences\, \none’s desires are already beginning to sprout. \nBeing revealed is the possibility of the turning to another\, of a conversation. \n  \nThe voice precedes words. \nThe way the words of the prayer sound becomes their meaning\, \npaving for them a path to their destination. \nIt’s as if the melody of the prayer \nlifts the words on its wings\, \nwhispers between the pages of the prayerbook\, \namongst the prayer shawls\, \nascends from the place of prayer to the Holy Ark\, \nsoars through the windows\, out to the boundless skies.   \n  \n—from Prepare My Prayer by Rabbi Dov Singer \n  \nThis causes me to think of infants\, to wonder at the sounds. The process of self-discovery\, of self-awareness; hearing the sounds\, giving meaning\, learning speech\, communicating needs and wants. Primal\, unyielding. With age comes inhibitions\, filters\, separating the sounds from the heart connecting to the mind. Struggle begins to communicate what is felt\, using only words. And it fails—miserably. Life then moves on\, striving to reconnect mind and heart. Each strives and finds a way\, in time. Sound and heart rejoin; satisfying communication resumes. Heart and mind join as one. \n  \nThis is the struggle\, to communicate with heart and mind in one voice to convey deepest feelings\, sensations to another. Reaching out with voice to connect\, to be heard\, to be seen. Finding others\, uniting in common cause\, raising voices on high\, drawing close. We reach out\, yearning to connect\, finding our voices\, expressing heart’s desires. Throughout life we continue to use voice and sound\, still striving to communicate as we did when infants\, crying out from the heart to the One who hears. \n  \n—Michel Deforge
URL:https://openroadpdx.com/event/meditation-mindfulness-dialogue-12-15-22/
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DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20230105
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20230202
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SUMMARY:peace\, love\, happiness & understanding  1/5/23
DESCRIPTION:Gertrude Stein (by Picasso) \n  \nTHE OPEN ROAD \npeace\, love\, happiness & understanding \n  \nJanuary 5\, 2023 \n  \nSo now to come to the real question of punctuation\, periods\, commas\, colons\, semi-colons and capitals and small letters. I have had a long and complicated life with all these. \n—Gertrude Stein\, Lectures in America\, 1935 \n  \nA Carafe in Bb Major \nby Alex Tretbar (Guest Editor) \n  \n“The difference is spreading.” \n  \nLast night I sat down to read the final pages of Gertrude Stein’s small\, strange book Tender Buttons. I don’t use bookmarks\, as I’m usually able to quickly identify where I left off. I remembered reading the section titled “Cups” on page 49 of my edition\, but I saw nothing familiar in the following subsection\, “Rhubarb\,” which consists of a single sentence: “Rhubarb is susan not susan not seat in bunch toys not wild and laughable not in little places not in neglect and vegetable not in fold coal age not please.” So I read “Rhubarb” and moved on. \n  \nThe book is divided into three parts: “Objects\,” “Food\,” and “Rooms.” On page 60 I read “A Center in a Table\,” the final section of “Food\,” then turned the page and began “Rooms\,” which begins as follows: \n  \nAct so that there is no use in a center. A wide action is not a width. A preparation is given to the ones preparing. They do not eat who mention silver and sweet. There was an occupation. \n  \nThat initial imperative —“Act so that there is no use in a center”—rang through me in such a way that I knew I wasn’t reading or hearing it for the first time\, and the heavy declarative statement that concludes the paragraph—“There was an occupation”—struck me with the ghostly certainty of déjà vu (“already seen”)\, or\, more accurately\, déjà lu (“already read”). \n  \nI read eleven pages of Tender Buttons on the evening of December 21st\, then read the same eleven pages again on the evening of December 22nd\, remembering none of them until reaching “Rooms.” How could I read so many pages before stumbling across a certain phrasing or arrangement of words that would seem to indicate I had read them before\, and recently? The answer is not that Tender Buttons is forgettable. The answer is that Tender Buttons is slippery. As Juliana Spahr writes\, it is “a book always in the process of being read over and over.” It acts as if there is no use in a center. \n  \n“Lying in a conundrum…” \n  \nI served 64 months in the Oregon prison system\, and was released on July 22nd\, 2022. I spent the final ten days of my sentence in quarantine\, in the hole\, and I had made grand literary plans for those ten days. In my luggage of plastic trash bags\, alongside a half jar of coffee and other essentials\, I had stowed a stack of poetry collections\, anthologies\, and magazines\, and I was looking forward to the 240 hours of unfettered reading. I didn’t bring any fiction\, save for the handful of short stories sprinkled throughout the magazines\, and I came to regret that decision. \n  \nNow\, it wasn’t ten days of traditional segregation: I had all of my canteen luxuries\, I was granted time each day for phone calls and microwaving\, and the general vibe was not punitive. Plus\, after all\, my prison sentence was about to end. But the pressure cooker of the cell came to seem like the anteroom between hell and heaven\, despite my knowing that prison isn’t (necessarily) hell\, and liberty isn’t (necessarily) heaven. I continued waking up at 5\, drinking cold tap water coffee\, and reading and writing\, but the onslaught of poetry’s nonstop ellipsis\, misdirection and elusion/allusion began to erode my ability to pass the hours calmly. I thought of Ezra Pound slowly losing it\, writing his lonely Cantos in the oblivion of St. Elizabeths. I craved narrative: A then B\, so C. I wanted fiction. Characters doing things\, and things happening to characters. Undreamlike causation. \n  \nOne of the books I brought with me was an issue of Fonograf Editions\, and on its cover was a pink and purple abstraction “indebted to [the Russian painter Kasimir] Malevich’s Suprematist artistic vision\, one that believed that ‘the appropriate means of representation is always the one which gives fullest possible expression to feeling as such and which ignores the familiar appearance of objects.’” But in that ten-day moment before release\, I was sick of the avant-garde\, sick of abstraction\, and sick of poetry. I wanted objects—like a milk carton passed through a hole in a metal door—to appear familiar. Tender Buttons may have been a torturous book to possess at that time. \n  \nImages brand our spirits\, and the twin sigils of the final cell I lived in were: \n  \n \n  \n \nYes\, a ridiculous pairing\, but I believe that there is no highbrow\, no lowbrow. There is only brow\, and beneath it the all-seeing eye through which we witness our lives. \n  \n“Nickel\, what is nickel…” \n  \nStein renders the familiar unfamiliar. Her prose poems (if you can call them that\, if you can call them anything at all) approach “A Table” or “A Shawl” from unexpected angles\, with grammatically impenetrable constructions\, and for this reason her work is often cited as bearing the Cubist torch into literature. Here is the first and most famous piece from Tender Buttons\, titled “A Carafe\, that is a Blind Glass”: \n  \nA kind in glass and a cousin\, a spectacle and nothing strange a single hurt color and an arrangement in a system to pointing. All this and not ordinary\, not unordered in not resembling. The difference is spreading. \n  \nWhat are we to make of this? Tender Buttons has engendered much academic handwringing and dissection over the past century\, and you are not alone if\, in reading the above excerpt\, you find yourself shaking your head or scoffing. Perhaps the most agreed-upon facet of Tender Buttons is that we can agree upon nothing when regarding it. It is an object “simultaneously considered to be a masterpiece of verbal Cubism\, a modernist triumph\, a spectacular failure\, a collection of confusing gibberish\, and an intentional hoax.” Like Joyce’s Ulysses or Proust’s In Search of Lost Time\, the book “is perhaps more often written about than actually read” (Poets.org). \n  \nAnd yet I recommend that everyone read it. Unlike the behemoth works of Joyce or Proust\, it can be read in a single evening or two\, and there is no constellation of characters and motives and histories to keep straight. There are few\, if any\, people in Tender Buttons (personal pronouns are haunting in their rare surfacing)\, and nothing really happens. But there is music\, and undeniable passion—even be it bridled or obscured by syntax. Just look at those first seven words of the book: “A kind in glass and a cousin.” Never mind what it “meant” to Stein\, or what it “means” to me. It is just a beautiful arrangement of\, as Coleridge defined poetry\, “the best words in the best order.” The poet Charles Bernstein has provided some of the best advice for readers of Tender Buttons\, and it is worth quoting him at length: \n  \nThe sections of the work are not “about” subjects that are discussed but are their own discrete word objects (verbal constellations). Meaning in these works is not something to be extracted or deciphered but rather to be responded to\, so that the reader’s associations create a cascading perceptual experience\, guided by the uncanny arrangement of the words. The more readers can associate with the multiple vectors of each word or phrase meanings\, the more fully they can feast on the unfolding semantic banquet of the work. The key is not to puzzle it out but to let the figurative plenitude of each work play out; for\, indeed\, this work is not invested in a predetermining structure or in precluding or abstracting meaning. Tender Buttons does not resist figuration but entices it. And the work is rife with linguistic and philosophical investigation as well as an uncannily acute self-awareness of its own processes. \n  \n“A letter was nicely sent.” \n  \nI was exhibiting an uncannily acute self-awareness of my own processes. (Have you ever felt clairvoyant in the knowledge that you know what you are about to do? Is it not strange that\, before we go to pick up the plastic mug of cold predawn coffee\, we know that we are about to pick up the plastic mug of cold predawn coffee? And even if we decide\, in auto-rebellion\, not to pick up the mug\, we construct a new future the knowledge of which is instantaneously and irrevocably ours—until we change our minds again. I used to take drugs\, I think\, for a simple reason: I didn’t want to know what happened next. I wanted to be surprised.) \n  \nAlas\, in a single afternoon of quarantine I devoured the handful of short stories available to me\, and once again I was left with poetry\, the desolation of my processes\, my circuits and orbits and feedback loops. For five years I had been invested in a predetermined structure\, and that structure was beginning to dissolve. Reading poems—whether they were straightforwardly narrative or relentlessly experimental—repulsed me\, and so did writing them. \n  \nThe last letter I sent from prison contained the last poem I wrote in prison. Ironically or perhaps not\, it was a letter to someone living in the same building as me\, another prisoner. Distance is often nonphysical. Here’s the poem:  \n  \nSpecial Features \n  \nthere isn’t a thing to say \nso close to the relinquished \nlight of a star \n                         what really comprises the common dust \n                         of living rooms & cells \n                                                                 panting \n                                                                 panting \n                                    the television is panting \n                                 is \n               underwater \n                 with grief \nI look what I think is west \nis west it’s hard to tell \n      amid so many competing surfaces \n      amid \n      amid \namid absent flowers & oxidized materials \nyou can oversanitize to the point where everything becomes \n                                                                         is permanently \n                                                                         clean \n                         & the action movie soundtrack \n                         convinces me of climax \n                         a nonexistent curtain falls \n           the show is \n              the story is over   /   I am asleep \n                in the deleted scenes of my life \n  \nTo me—the writer of this poem who had forgotten its contents until now\, digging through my notebooks\, reading it now with the privilege of distance—the poem reeks of wordsickness. But it’s okay to be sick of words. Even the sun can make us sneeze. \n  \n“Book was there\, it was there.” \n  \nA pink is not of vitamin\, is it. Smaller \nand smalling. What recedes fortifies \nand running now\, a mauve. Crossing \na street requiring friends in need of. \nWe are not a wobble. We nosy. Let us \nconsider longing now the ultimate form. \n  \nOr\, as my friend Irene Cooper puts it: \n  \nno commas \n~for GS & ABT \n  \npop buttons pop projections of rimming. collect the close & closings tendered against the winded heart. red petals the threaded plain & some cleavage is rising. plastics are crashing are the rain sugaring the cavity are a red tempest in a chest. in closure some button slips its absence & is too much is intolerable is undone & so open. open.  \n  \nOr\, as my friend Laura Winberry puts it: \n  \nthe buttons are as tender as we make them \n  \n[essayistic interpretations of cubism in non-prosaic form\, in conversation with Miss Stein] \n  \na trach tube is or isn’t a direct pathway to living \n(well or at all). so is a catheter\, a pic line\, a drip \nlike a bright sweep through the body every eight \nhours or so. \n  \nit doesn’t all have to be so tragic. we see \nthings and beings through to some kind of end \nthen start again. so many moments are synonymous \nwith continue. \n  \nwhen mom asides about the new nurse I think \nhe’s born-again Christian as if he were \nalso diseased he’s too neat—I laugh. \n  \nafter a night in his tender she admits to being wrong— \nhe’s lovely and my buddy let me tell you his life story. \n  \nthe subject seen from a multitude of viewpoints \ncrescendos into a tenderness of context. what was once \nangular\, disjointed\, rearranged \nbecomes whole. \n  \nI think what I mean to say is multi \n-dimensional\, -faceted\, -plying as in \nnothing is ever what it seems. \n  \nI don’t yet know how to call this tender\, \nbut something in my body \ntells me I will. \n  \nOr\, as the late Trish Keenan of the band Broadcast puts it\, in the song “Tender Buttons”: \n  \nThe cortex \nThe comb \nThe codeine \nThe comma \nThe context \n  \nSuch is Stein’s influence. And the funny thing is that when I first came across that unlikely pair of words—“tender” and “buttons”—it wasn’t in the form of Stein’s book. It was the Broadcast song\, a complicatedly hopeful acoustic-electric drone in the key of B-flat major. \n  \nThe website Last.fm allows users to log the songs they listen to on their computers and mobile devices\, and this evening I performed a search of my account\, which I created in 2006. I searched for “Tender Buttons\,” and found that I listened to the song for the first time at 12:38 p.m. on October 22\, 2009\, 14 days after my 20th birthday. According to Wunderground.com\, it was 54 degrees Fahrenheit in Lawrence\, Kansas\, at that very moment\, the sky was cloudy\, and the wind was blowing around 15 miles per hour from the north-northwest. I was probably stoned on that 295th day of the Gregorian calendar\, a Thursday\, skipping class and lazing on the green couch of a flophouse attic. \n  \nIf I remember correctly\, I was heartbroken at that time\, and I would spend many hours by the attic window\, watching the leaves of a great tree tremble in the wind. It was years before I knew who Gertrude Stein was\, a time when my addiction was still like a kitten: small and manageable\, asleep and purring\, contained within my palm. \n  \nThe codeine\, the comma\, the context. \n  \nStein’s Enigmas \nby Kim Stafford \n  \nTender Buttons has been called the stuff of genius\, and of intentional obfuscation. Nothing but an utterly original mind could produce such a range of response. Gertrude Stein once said of Paris\, it’s not so much what it gives you—it’s what it doesn’t take away. Paris clearly didn’t take away Stein’s almost childish instinct for feral experimentation\, and readers have been struggling and reveling ever since in what her pen splashed forth. \n  \n     For a reader\, Tender Buttons offers a challenge\, a series of jokes\, secrets\, a scatter of debris\, a net of clues\, hints\, hunches\, all with a rich dose of affection for true freedom of speech. \n  \n     For a writer\, the lessons are many\, and a bit different. First off\, the lines in her book seem to say\, apart from what they are saying\, or not saying: Go your own weird way. The lines are presenting evidence that language belongs to each of us\, and all of us\, and none of us. Language\, by Stein’s witness\, is a freakish\, frisky\, irreverent rush of possibility\, not to be imprisoned by any grammarian’s so-called rules. Yes\, such freedom by a writer may lose some readers\, but may also gain the fierce loyalty of some others.  \n  \n     A printer friend was meeting with a poet to talk about designing a broadside for a poem. Said the printer\, “Wouldn’t it be easier to read if you arranged the lines this way\, instead of what you have?” \n    “I’m a poet\,” was the reply. “Is my goal to make things easy?” \n    “Ah\,” said the printer. “You taught me something there.” \n  \n    And Stein’s book\, over a century old\, is still teaching us something\, perhaps a different set of lessons for each reader who makes it through the book. What the book seems to want to teach me is to question my practice\, when I’m in danger of making too much sense and too little music. To question my goal when I’m trying to persuade instead of sing. To question my purpose on earth when I’m relying on the rational instead of birdsong. \n  \n     I can’t do what Stein has done—or can I? Is it just that I haven’t tried? What’s to stop me from breaking the rules I’ve followed so obediently for so many years\, to stop me from achieving escape velocity from the firmament of the clear\, the cogent\, and the utterly tamed? \n  \n   Some years ago at a conference for artists\, the Indigenous old-time folk singer Buffy St. Marie was to give a talk\, and I thought\, foolishly\, that she would coast along on her former fame\, maybe play a few classics\, and be done. Instead\, she sang ideas at us with fierceness that stunned me. Among many calls to trust our own way as artists\, she used a word I had only associated with the fight for Indigenous rights. She told us an artist must maintain complete sovereignty over what we do and how we do it\, saying\, this is my poem\, song\, painting…this is my language\, my tune\, my colors…and the way I do what I do belongs to me. \n  \n   Last summer\, I met a pine tree in Scotland\, alone on a hill\, its trunk crooked\, its branches quirky\, lopsided\, eccentric in the extreme. It was more ruin in wood than civilized for the lumber trade. Perhaps it had been left alone when they cut the others\, simply because it managed to be strange.  \n  \n     In the tree’s presence\, I found myself jamming words together with maybe 5% of the freedom of a Gertrude Stein\, but still more in keeping with the tree before me than what I might have written without my encounter with Tender Buttons. For what if polite forms of language are lying\, really\, about the true\, knotted complexity of the world\, and what Stein does in Tender Buttons hews more closely to the rugged real? \n  \n        Lone Pine in Scotland  \n  \nOne flung green gown on one hung \nshade skirt growing outward\, glowing  \ninward\, light-hungry\, root-thirsty\, long  \nwind-limber\, limb-laddered\, ever loyal \nto the nation of its kind\, but hermit here\,  \nmonkish nun hospitable to wasp and crow\,  \nrain-wet silhouette of old trunk with young  \ntwigs\, buds\, needles\, cones glistening for  \ndawn above by dusk below\, earth-offered\,  \nring-hearted\, bark-guarded\, pitch-scented\,  \npollen-dusted citizen\, sentinel\, sovereign.  \n  \n 
URL:https://openroadpdx.com/event/peace-love-happiness-understanding-1-5-23/
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